Gadsin is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, caring centipede.

Gadsin created time and space six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gadsin, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gadsin, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Gadsin's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Gadsin's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Gadsin in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Pray towards the west.