Tettiquattof is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, dishonest hummingbird.

Tettiquattof created the Andromeda Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tettiquattof, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tettiquattof, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Tettiquattof's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Tettiquattof's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear red.

2. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in black.

3. Never think ill of sick grasshopers.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never talk about special relativity near sheep while wearing blue ear rings.