Saskiksak is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, selfish coyote.

Saskiksak created vertebrates seven million years ago.

If you believe in Saskiksak, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Saskiksak, she will refuse to believe in you.

Saskiksak's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Saskiksak's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never talk about dark energy near manatees while wearing black coats.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Saskiksak.

5. Never eat green fruit.