Arfnulfet is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, selfish spider.

Arfnulfet created the world eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arfnulfet, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Arfnulfet, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Arfnulfet's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Arfnulfet's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Always help doves in need.

3. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never laugh in holy places.