Gupsomsin Bonarmab is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, egotistical deer.

Gupsomsin Bonarmab created dark energy two million years ago.

If you believe in Gupsomsin Bonarmab, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gupsomsin Bonarmab, she will turn you into a duck.

Gupsomsin Bonarmab's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Gupsomsin Bonarmab's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Gupsomsin Bonarmab's priests.

2. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a building before entering it.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near cats while wearing black boots.