Wegtagkon is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, dishonourable hedgehog.

Wegtagkon created humankind eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wegtagkon, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Wegtagkon, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Wegtagkon's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Wegtagkon's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into orange rooms.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not wear lead on your body.

4. Retreat if four dogs approach from the west.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity.