Pidwigran is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, unjust butterfly.

Pidwigran created a charm quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pidwigran, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Pidwigran, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Pidwigran's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Pidwigran's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Put Pidwigran first in all things.

4. Never think about quantum gravity.

5. Never talk about spacetime.