Sugzangon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, strong aardvark.

Sugzangon created life eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sugzangon, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Sugzangon, she will boil you in a big pot.

Sugzangon's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Sugzangon's Holy Commandments

1. Always help whales in need.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never think about optics near frogs while wearing turquoise shoes and balancing eight iron spheres on your legs.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.