Kabartrul is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, vain dingo.

Kabartrul created silver nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Kabartrul, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kabartrul, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Kabartrul's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Kabartrul's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never go into violet rooms.

3. Geese are not to be trusted.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Kabartrul.

5. Do not commit murder.