Cissquaffenfed is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, quiet raccoon.

Cissquaffenfed created a down quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cissquaffenfed, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cissquaffenfed, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Cissquaffenfed's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Cissquaffenfed's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured turtles.

2. Never mention swans.

3. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in red.

4. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. You must love Cissquaffenfed.