Cim Targstipgub is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, ruthless cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Cim Targstipgub created silver six billion years ago.

If you believe in Cim Targstipgub, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Cim Targstipgub, it will turn you into a puffin.

Cim Targstipgub's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Cim Targstipgub's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about ultrasonics near rats while wearing pink hats and balancing three carbon spheres on your feet.

2. Always treat swans with great respect.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force near mice while wearing mauve shoes and balancing eight gold spheres on your chest.

4. Never wear brown shorts.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.