Sogpompig is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, humorless octopus.

Sogpompig created the planet Jupiter three million years ago.

If you believe in Sogpompig, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Sogpompig, it will destroy your favourite star.

Sogpompig's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Sogpompig's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not bounce in public.

3. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Sogpompig in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not speak about peas.