Cemfemmig is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, benevolent hedgehog.

Cemfemmig created a bottom quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Cemfemmig, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Cemfemmig, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Cemfemmig's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Cemfemmig's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Cemfemmig in the centre of the settlement.

2. Hide if eight seals approach from the north.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cemfemmig.

4. Never hurt mites.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory near birds while wearing turquoise rings and balancing six zinc spheres on your legs.