Hamfagveg is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, almighty cobra.

Hamfagveg created vertebrates seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hamfagveg, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hamfagveg, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Hamfagveg's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Hamfagveg's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in the presence of monkeys.

2. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never talk about solid mechanics near geese while wearing turquoise ear rings.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.