Bagquatkip is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, happy horse.

Bagquatkip created the universe six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bagquatkip, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Bagquatkip, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Bagquatkip's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Bagquatkip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear carbon on your body.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate aardvarks.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bagquatkip.

5. Do not make images of living things.