Hascampan is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, two-faced troll.

Hascampan created the Andromeda Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Hascampan, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Hascampan, she will curse you with boils.

Hascampan's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Hascampan's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from mauve mice, for they are unholy.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not dye your hair brown.

4. Run away if four tortoises approach from the north.

5. Never think about thermodynamics near nematodes while wearing green tights and balancing five copper spheres on your head.