Bonkfascab is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, idiotic narwhal.

Bonkfascab created dark matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkfascab, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bonkfascab, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Bonkfascab's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Bonkfascab's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always make sure there are no eagles in a building before entering it.

3. Otters are not to be trusted.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never hurt aardvarks.