Stragbinwik is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, deceitful whale.

Stragbinwik created a Higgs boson four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stragbinwik, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Stragbinwik, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Stragbinwik's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Stragbinwik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near ducks while wearing blue rings and balancing four lead spheres on your feet.

3. Feed all hungry whales.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity.