Futcancud is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, self-assured wyvern.

Futcancud created everything that exists seven million years ago.

If you believe in Futcancud, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Futcancud, he will turn you into a slug.

Futcancud's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Futcancud's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

4. Never think about dwarf planets.

5. Never mention birds.