Artgepdubmin is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, unthoughtful manatee.

Artgepdubmin created Mount Everest eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Artgepdubmin, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Artgepdubmin, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Artgepdubmin's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Artgepdubmin's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat oranges.

2. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not dye your hair brown.