Bellvolhog is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, witty turtle.

Bellvolhog created the planet Venus six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bellvolhog, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bellvolhog, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Bellvolhog's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Bellvolhog's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Bellvolhog five times a day.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never talk about black holes.

4. Never think about gravity near snakes while wearing violet coats and balancing nine gold spheres on your face.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.