Witquatbeming is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, bad-tempered cat.

Witquatbeming created a charm quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Witquatbeming, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Witquatbeming, she will turn you into a mouse.

Witquatbeming's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Witquatbeming's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear red shirts.

2. Never laugh in the presence of manatees.

3. Worship no other gods but Witquatbeming.

4. Never feed lots of figs to eagles while wearing mauve trousers.

5. Never eat green fruit.