Tailnurtdid Pogbanfom is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, conceited pig.

Tailnurtdid Pogbanfom created the universe nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tailnurtdid Pogbanfom, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tailnurtdid Pogbanfom, he will not care at all.

Tailnurtdid Pogbanfom's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Tailnurtdid Pogbanfom's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Run away if six grasshopers approach from the south.