Fedminnell is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, selfish turtle.

Fedminnell created bats eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fedminnell, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fedminnell, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Fedminnell's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Fedminnell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never talk about nebulae.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never paint your hands fawn.