Pophogkan is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, unsympathetic salamander.

Pophogkan created a top quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pophogkan, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Pophogkan, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Pophogkan's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Pophogkan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum mechanics near seals while wearing purple shoes and balancing eight tin spheres on your hands.

2. Pophogkan loves sheep, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

4. Erect a large copper sculpture of Pophogkan on top of all buildings.

5. Do not cook food in pots.