Podhomfag is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, passionate beaver.

Podhomfag created light five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Podhomfag, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Podhomfag, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Podhomfag's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Podhomfag's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry turtles.

2. Never bounce near tapirs.

3. Never think about special relativity near gulls while wearing red boots and balancing five platinum spheres on your feet.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.