Bem is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, fussy dragon.

Bem created the planet Earth two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bem, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bem, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Bem's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Bem's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear shirts.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never hurt hamsters.

5. Bem loves shrews, so they must be respected.