Zigbaphugmut is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, slow lobster.

Zigbaphugmut created life nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zigbaphugmut, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Zigbaphugmut, it will turn you into a mouse.

Zigbaphugmut's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Zigbaphugmut's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at dwarf planets.

2. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.

4. Always help foxes.

5. Never think about black holes.