Dissnulfad Bomnuttjig Safkikrutgepkabtikgudbiss is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, contented crow.

Dissnulfad Bomnuttjig Safkikrutgepkabtikgudbiss created gold two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dissnulfad Bomnuttjig Safkikrutgepkabtikgudbiss, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dissnulfad Bomnuttjig Safkikrutgepkabtikgudbiss, he will try to impress you with trees.

Dissnulfad Bomnuttjig Safkikrutgepkabtikgudbiss' most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Dissnulfad Bomnuttjig Safkikrutgepkabtikgudbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Never mention seals.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not jump in public.

5. Erect a large gold sculpture of Dissnulfad Bomnuttjig Safkikrutgepkabtikgudbiss on top of all buildings.