Hakdosstif is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, flying beaver.

Hakdosstif created a Higgs boson five million years ago.

If you believe in Hakdosstif, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hakdosstif, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Hakdosstif's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Hakdosstif's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat peanuts.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate horses.