Yamfunyak Cussgadcun is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unjust owl.

Yamfunyak Cussgadcun created Africa five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yamfunyak Cussgadcun, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Yamfunyak Cussgadcun, she will jump up and down on your head.

Yamfunyak Cussgadcun's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Yamfunyak Cussgadcun's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never think ill of sick monkeys.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never talk about enzymes.

5. Put Yamfunyak Cussgadcun first in all things.