Lagxuckdin is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, temperamental wolf.

Lagxuckdin created tapeworms five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lagxuckdin, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Lagxuckdin, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Lagxuckdin's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Lagxuckdin's Holy Commandments

1. Whales are not to be trusted.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never talk about chromosomes.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.