Gesshapbad is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, capable whale.

Gesshapbad created the planet Saturn eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gesshapbad, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gesshapbad, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Gesshapbad's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Gesshapbad's Holy Commandments

1. Erect three copper sculptures of Gesshapbad on top of important buildings.

2. Always treat birds with great respect.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. You must never eat bread.