Bemjanflab Veenjipnar is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, blissful meerkat.

Bemjanflab Veenjipnar created a quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemjanflab Veenjipnar, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bemjanflab Veenjipnar, it will be very unhappy.

Bemjanflab Veenjipnar's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Bemjanflab Veenjipnar's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum mechanics near shrews while wearing turquoise corsets and balancing three gold spheres on your head.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Bemjanflab Veenjipnar.

3. Never sprint in holy places.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force near tortoises while wearing violet shirts and balancing six copper spheres on your arms.

5. Run away if seven birds approach from the north.