Legbestxuc is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, astonishing guinea pig.

Legbestxuc created the planet Saturn six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Legbestxuc, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Legbestxuc, he will not care.

Legbestxuc's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Legbestxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not wear gold on your body.

5. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.