Ranartcen Yakhabcumbem is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, sage chicken.

Ranartcen Yakhabcumbem created the planet Jupiter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ranartcen Yakhabcumbem, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Ranartcen Yakhabcumbem, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Ranartcen Yakhabcumbem's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Ranartcen Yakhabcumbem's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fluid mechanics near otters while wearing fawn shirts and balancing eight carbon spheres on your face.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Ranartcen Yakhabcumbem.

5. Always treat frogs with great respect.