Hatyimnil is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, conceited bat.

Hatyimnil created the planet Mars eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hatyimnil, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Hatyimnil, it will laugh at you.

Hatyimnil's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Hatyimnil's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a room before entering it.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate pigs.

3. Never talk about badgers.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never paint your head magenta.