Vonkmongub is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, staggering wasp.

Vonkmongub created Europe six million years ago.

If you believe in Vonkmongub, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Vonkmongub, she will come to you in dreams.

Vonkmongub's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Vonkmongub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Worship no other gods but Vonkmongub.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a room before entering it.

5. Never talk about mites.