Ventofwit is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, merciful cobra.

Ventofwit created the cosmos nine million years ago.

If you believe in Ventofwit, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Ventofwit, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Ventofwit's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Ventofwit's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.

2. Erect a large copper sculpture of Ventofwit on top of all buildings.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Do not dye your hair mauve.