Fatgudkab is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unjust armadillo.

Fatgudkab created a bottom quark four years ago.

If you believe in Fatgudkab, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fatgudkab, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Fatgudkab's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Fatgudkab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always wear red.

5. Always obey Fatgudkab's priests.