Vanzedhublan is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, tiresome yak.

Vanzedhublan created the planet Jupiter two years ago.

If you believe in Vanzedhublan, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Vanzedhublan, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Vanzedhublan's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Vanzedhublan's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Learn nine new languages a year.

3. Do not hurt seals.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never play with disobedient children.