Butbetnurl is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, self-confident snail.

Butbetnurl created oxygen four billion years ago.

If you believe in Butbetnurl, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Butbetnurl, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Butbetnurl's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Butbetnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Hamsters are not to be trusted.

2. Never mention gulls.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. You must pray to Butbetnurl seven times a day.

5. Retreat if six manatees approach from the east.