Bemquamgod is a god.
He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, humane
deer.
Bemquamgod created Europe two billion years ago.
If you believe in
Bemquamgod, he will give you a free planet.
If you do not believe in
Bemquamgod, he will turn you into a puffin.
Bemquamgod's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.
Bemquamgod's Holy Commandments1. Do not hurt cats.
2. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.
3. Always help bats in need.
4. Look mercifully on unfortunate mites.
5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.