Tonwitflabhunlanhintig is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, calm rhinoceros.

Tonwitflabhunlanhintig created carbon six billion years ago.

If you believe in Tonwitflabhunlanhintig, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tonwitflabhunlanhintig, he will turn you into a snail.

Tonwitflabhunlanhintig's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Tonwitflabhunlanhintig's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no foxes in a room before entering it.

2. Never think about optics.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Retreat if three whales approach from the east.

5. You must love Tonwitflabhunlanhintig.