Luntinhiv is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, awe-inspiring warg.

Luntinhiv created oxygen five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Luntinhiv, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Luntinhiv, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Luntinhiv's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Luntinhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never feed aubergines to sharks while wearing magenta shoes.

3. Never wear coats.

4. Run away from indigo manatees, for they are unholy.

5. You must love Luntinhiv.