Garfudstaf is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, conceited lobster.

Garfudstaf created the world four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Garfudstaf, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Garfudstaf, it will turn you into a snail.

Garfudstaf's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Garfudstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant gray sculpture of Garfudstaf in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never hurt badgers.

4. Always help dogs.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snails.