Nurtvegtonfottar is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, proud mole.

Nurtvegtonfottar created gold two billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtvegtonfottar, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Nurtvegtonfottar, she will send minions to preach to you.

Nurtvegtonfottar's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Nurtvegtonfottar's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed bread to geese while wearing corsets.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Retreat if five otters approach from the north.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.