Satgepduss is a god.

He takes the form of a small, passionate hamster.

Satgepduss created the Milkyway two million years ago.

If you believe in Satgepduss, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Satgepduss, he will turn you into a hamster.

Satgepduss' most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Satgepduss' Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick swans.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Put Satgepduss first in all things.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Hide if four monkeys approach from the east.