Tenbasttif is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, bad-tempered zebra.

Tenbasttif created a strange quark four years ago.

If you believe in Tenbasttif, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tenbasttif, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Tenbasttif's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Tenbasttif's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Tenbasttif.

2. Erect a large gold sculpture of Tenbasttif on top of all buildings.

3. Never write about fluid mechanics.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Put Tenbasttif first in all things.