Rawcubbed is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, conceited salamander.

Rawcubbed created Africa two years ago.

If you believe in Rawcubbed, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Rawcubbed, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Rawcubbed's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Rawcubbed's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of wheat to squirrels while wearing brown dresses.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never eat bread.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never talk about chlorophyll.